This is the ceremony chapter. Prepare to cry:) Oh, and this is dedicated to my best friend Claire, since it's her birthday on Friday. Happy Early Birthday Claire! Love you:)
I woke up this morning, without Mikaela at my side. But I remembered what day it was. It is my sisters wedding day. The one day that she will for sure remember for the rest of her life. I have to wear a tux, I have to tell her she looks beautiful, I have to watch her tell Josh her vows, I have to watch her be happy. After all those times I saw her cry, saw her hurt. I know Josh is there for her. But, then why do I feel like I’m being replaced? Like part of my job as her brother is being taken away? I don’t want to say goodbye to my sister. But I’m not, right? I’m saying hello to my new and improved sister, and my brother-in-law.
I guess there’s a part of me that’s scared. That knows she’ll be okay, but doesn’t want to back off enough to let her live. I have to let her go, even if I don’t want to.
“Say goodbye to who you used to know, but I’m right beside you and I won’t go. Don’t forget everything we went through. Don’t forget that I love you. I’ll be the one holding your hand, the girl that will be with you until the end. I’m not the little girl I used to be, but I’m still me.” I wrote in my song book. I knew that this was the song Josh would produce for my next album. His beautiful voice on it would make it incredible. But that’s the future, today I have to focus on the present. On my wedding day I need to be focused. I’m excited, I’m nervous, I’m scared, I’m happy, I’m in love, I’m sad, and I’m, well I’m about to cry.
Getting up this morning was the easiest thing I have to do today. Now I have to go get my hair done, I have to get my makeup done. Along with my 3 bridesmaids and then go to Acadia park and make sure everything is ready. I have to check with the Wedding Planner about details (Cake, flowers, guests, music etc.) and get my dress on. Then walk down the aisle to that stupid Wedding song, towards my groom, my fiancé, my boyfriend, the guy I’m absolutely in love with. For the first time in my life, I was nervous about what I looked like. If he would think I look beautiful. If he would cry like a little child, if Matt would do that stupid whistle, and if my dad and my brother would both turn to me and say, “You look gorgeous.”
I would smile and shake my head. Then I’d stare Josh in the eyes. I wouldn’t know what I would do. I just don’t know. I turned to Mikaela who tapped me on the shoulder and she smiled.
“It’s a beautiful day for a wedding.” She told me. I smiled, I nodded and I got teary eyed. Mikaela gave me a hug, and she wiped the tear that fell down my cheek. “Your not losing who you are Lexi, your just building onto your biography.” She explained, and I nodded. Mikaela was right, she is always right.
“I love him. I know I do. I’m just, scared.” I said as I started putting on my leather jacket. “I need to grow up.” I shook off my nervous feelings and Mikaela stared at me.
“You don’t need to grow up, be you. All those emotions you feel are normal Lexi.” She told me and I smiled weakly. “Here, you can have your phone back. Just in case of emergencies with that stupid Wedding Planner.” I smiled, Mikaela was still sour about the fact I wouldn’t let her plan my wedding.
“Thank you. Now, Starbucks then makeup/hair place?” I told my bridesmaids and they all nodded in unison. I smiled and walked out the door. I can do this; I know I can do it.
I woke up to the sound of Matt singing in the shower. I looked at the clock and it was 12pm, I looked out the nearest window and smiled. The sun was shining it is perfect day for a wedding. Wait, I’m getting married today! It’s not just going to be me living in that apartment anymore; it’ll be two people, Lexi and me. I whispered to the room, “You and me forever, baby.” Even though she wasn’t there, I had to tell her that from far away. I love her so much. I wonder if she’s nervous or scared. I wonder if she has cold feet, if she wants to change her mind. I found my phone in the cabinet beside Matt’s bed, and texted Lexi.
“Good morning baby. All ready for the big day? I love you, beautiful.” I sent it and smiled. I sat there and waited for a reply. 10 minutes past, and I decided to go to the bakery down the street to get some breakfast. I put on a shirt, and walked out the door.
When I walked in the bakery there were paparazzi taking pictures of me. I grabbed a bagel and a Coke Zero and walked back to Matt’s apartment. They won’t ruin this day for me. I was walking up to Matt’s small living space, a girl from high school that I recognized was standing at the door.
“Hannah, what are you doing here?” I asked and she smiled. She brought me into a huge hug and attempted to kiss me, but I pulled away. “What the..?” I asked again and she smiled.
“It’s me Josh, Lexi.” She tried to explain and I laughed.
“Go away. Now.” I yelled at her and she shook her head. “You think I don’t recognize you? Hannah. Leave.” I tried to push her away from me, but that b*itch was strong. “Please, it’s my wedding day. I want to remember this in a positive way, not the day that I committed murder.” I tried explaining, but she wouldn’t leave. I got out my cell phone and dialed 911. They came quickly, and took her in for trespassing and harassment. This day is starting out weird. All of a sudden I got a text message.
“I love you too, babe. I’m ready when you are. Not literally, but you get it.” Lexi sent to me and I smiled. I opened Matt’s door and he shoved my tux into my face.
“Embrace the classiness Josh.” Matt told me and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“This will be the first time I wore un-tight pants for a long time!” I walked into the bathroom and got into the shower. When I got out, I blow dried my hair and did it up with gel. I’m glad I got my blue done yesterday. I put on my black and white tux, and I put on my black spiky converse on. I heard talking outside the bathroom door, so I opened it and there were my 2 other groomsmen with my best man, Matt. “Hey guys.” I said and they smiled.
“Josh!” They all yelled nervously.
“Mike, Matt, Ian…what were you idiots talking about?” I asked and they couldn’t stop laughing.
“Nothing bad! We were just talking about our little surprise for you guys.” Mike said and I smiled nervously.
“Okay, well please stop being immature, and just take me to Acadia Park.” I told them and they smiled.
“Of course.” Matt said and we all walked out to the limo. I got more and more nervous every time the car inched forward. “We need to make a stop first. I have a date.”
After we all got our hair and make up done, we went to Acadia Park to get our dresses on, and shoes on. All of the bridesmaids have a black and white dress and red low top converse. My chocolate brown hair is curly, with half pinned up, and the other half down. Anna’s was straight, and up in a bun. Kacy’s hair was all in a bun as well, but with a couple pieces down and curled. But, all our makeup was the same, a smoky eye that consisted of grey, black and silver eye shadow, mascara, eyeliner, and pink lip gloss.
But Lexi, she was the most gorgeous one of all. Lexi’s hair was down, with medium curls in it, which gave it kind of that messy-chic look, and her make up was done with a little bit of silver shadow on the lid, black eyeliner and mascara. She also had on light pink lip gloss. She looked beautiful. And her dress, it’s hard to explain, but it was perfect for her. Her and Josh shared shoes, they both wore black high top studded converse. Their wedding was perfect.
Their flowers were everywhere. Red, white and black roses. It smelled beautiful, and it looked ideal. When the minister was ready and all of the guests were ready, the music started for us to walk down the aisle.
James ran into our tent and gave me kiss as I was walking out. He walked over to Lexi and gasped. I knew he thought I was beautiful, but I also knew that she was the stunning one here today. After Kacy and Anna were by the alter I started walking out of our tent. As I was walking down the aisle, I saw Josh standing there nervously. When I got 3 quarters down the aisle, that stupid song started playing for Lexi to walk down the aisle towards Josh. When I got to my spot, I saw everyone standing. Lexi was coming down the aisle and I looked at Josh. He was crying. He loves her; he thinks she is the most beautiful thing on this planet.
I was walking down the aisle towards Josh, with that stupid song playing and Matt doing that whistle. I was looking at Josh and he was looking at me. Smiling and crying. He looked at me with the most love in his eyes. He stared at me just crying, and I was starting to cry too. He looked so handsome. His blue and black hair was in the perfect places, his black and white tux made his hair stand out, and our shoes matched each other perfectly. We’re meant to be.
With my dad on my left side, and my brother on my right I felt stronger then ever. I saw all my friends, all my family and all of Josh’s friends and family. But all I could think about was Josh. When I reached the end of the aisle, the song ended. I turned to my dad and he gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“You look dazzling, Alexis. Josh is such a lucky man.” My dad told me.
“You have to say that, you’re my dad.” I replied and he shook his head and winked. “I love you daddy.” I smiled and gave him a hug. I turned to James and he was tearing up.
“You are the most stunning woman in this room, Lex.” James told me and I hugged him.
“You did your job James, now let Josh do his.” I explained and gave him a kiss on the cheek and a hug. “I love you.” I told him and walked up to Josh. Josh shook my dad’s hand, and shook my brother’s hand, and then he turned to me.
“Lexi, you look so beautiful.” Josh told me and I wiped his tears.
“You’re not too shabby yourself, baby.” I told him and we both turned to the minister.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony. If any person can show any just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace. Joshua Keeler Ramsay, wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together in the holy bonds of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her so long as ye both shall live?” The minister asked Josh and he nodded.
“I will.” Josh replied and looked at me.
“Alexis Helena Elizabeth Fisher, wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together in the holy bonds of matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him so long as ye both shall live?” The minister asked me and I nodded just like Josh.
“I will.” I smiled and Josh squeezed my hand.
“Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?” The minister asked and both my parents stood up.
“We do.” They answered and smiled and mouthed “Thank you.”
“You two have written personalized vows which may be read at this time. Alexis, please read yours first.” The minister said, and I smiled. I turned to Mikaela and grabbed the pieces of paper that had my vows written on them. I turned back to Josh and sighed.
“Here, we stand in front of our friends, our family and tell each other what we love about us. What I love about you is that you look at me like I’m the most perfect girl in the world. When people here, have seen me when I’m broken, and hurt, but I love that you make me stronger, and that you make me happy. I love how whenever you cry, it hurts me because all I want is to see you smile, all the time.“ I paused, and started to cry. Josh was already crying, and he squeezed my hands. I kept going.” The way your lips pout when you want something, the way you smile at people when they act stupid, or when you think I’m being silly. The way you won’t stop at anything to make me happy. I love the way you love me. I love how hard you work. I love you, Josh. I’ll always love you. I will never be able to stop loving you.” I paused again, and smiled. “I promise that you will be my best friend, my love for life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to be faithful to you. I promise to love you, to commit to you, and support you. I pledge to respect your amazing talents, your job and all of your abilities, to lend you strength for all of your dreams. You have shown me what love feels like. You are everything I need and at this moment I know that all of my dreams have come true. You and I forever baby.” I told him. I smiled and the minister motioned to Josh for him to start.
“Lexi, throughout my life I’ve had problems with drugs, and being bulimic, but ever since I’ve met you my life has been perfect. You always tell me how you aren’t perfect, and how you have flaws. But if you do baby, why can’t I see them?” He smiled towards me and I smiled back. “I love your smile, your laugh, your smile when you think people are stupid, and the weird looks you give people when you’re confused, your stubbornness, the way you love to be sarcastic, and the way you love being yourself. You don’t care what anyone thinks, but most of all, I love the way you share the same love for music the way I do.” He smiled, and I kept crying harder and harder. He wiped my tears away and kept talking, “Listen, Lex when I met you, I realized how much we could share together. I love you so much. I would do anything for you. I give you my life, my love, my heart, my soul. I want to protect you when you’re scared, to care for you when you’re hurt, to guide you when you’re confused, to hold you when you’re sad, to comfort you when you’re upset, to listen to you when you’re angry, and to cry with you when things don’t go our way. I love you enough to let myself be silly with you, to never hide anything from you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you baby.” He finished and kissed my cheek.
“Joshua, do you take Alexis to be your lawful wedded wife, in sickness and in health? As long as you both shall live?” The minister asked Josh and he giggled.
“F*uck yes.” Josh said, and the whole crowd laughed, even the minister!
“Alexis, do you take Joshua to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness and in health? As long as you both shall live?” The minister asked and I smiled and wide as I could.
“Of course I do.” The mister made us face the crowd and smile.
“With the power invested in me, I pronounce thee husband and wife. Josh, you may kiss your bride.” Josh looked at me and smiled.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Josh.” Josh leaned in and kissed me. To be honest, it was the best kiss of my life.
“Now please, let’s give Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay a hand, shall we?” The whole crowd clapped, and Matt cheered. The song All to Myself started playing, as we were signing our wedding papers. I couldn’t help but take looks at Josh every once in awhile, he looked incredible. As I was talking to some friends, Josh grabbed me by the waist and whispered.
“Mrs. Ramsay, we have to take some pictures. That mean wedding lady told me so.” He kissed up my neck and I moaned.
“I like the sound of that.” I thought out loud.
“Me too, babe.” He kissed my lips softly again and I smiled.
“Why am I so lucky?” I asked and he shrugged.
“I just know why I love you as much as I do babe.” He told me while winking. He kissed me on my forehead as we walked away from our wedding ceremony. The reception wasn’t for awhile, so we had time to take pictures. But I didn’t care. I got my happily ever after, with the one guy I love.
I’m Mrs. Alexis Helena Elizabeth Ramsay, and he’s my husband. “Josh, I’ll love you forever you know.”
“I know baby, I’ll love you too as long as we both shall live. And even after that.” He kissed me with such passion and intensity that I never wanted to let go. Tell everyone to go home; I’ll celebrate being married this way.
Well, here it was. The reception and after the reception will come later! I hope everyone cried. I know I cried while writing it! Thanks for reading:)